Humanness

I used again
Strung out with guilt, gaunt face in the mirror
The shame and loathing like molten lava smother’s my lips
I can’t keep up with their demands
Homework, housework, work
Tiredness and guilt-ridden tears flood over my pillow

I have it all
Partner, toys, business
Yet the emptiness gnaws deep inside my belly
She sits in silence and won’t speak to me
Hollowness, sadness, depression fills the room
My arm embraces her shattered hopes

I am weary and can’t control where I am going
Today slides into the abyss and my fear grips tomorrow
I want my life to look better
The motivational statements, the inspirational books,
The Guru’s with pretty smiles somedays is just not enough

Can I get alone with myself and get grounded?